Predictable

After our Kenya meeting this week, I came home temporarily overwhelmed. The magnitude of the trip – how far we have to go, how long we will be away, my ever-growing packing list – falls heavily upon me at times. Although we talked sincerely about spending our fleeting time in the pursuit of meaningful, eternally focused pursuits (and I am totally on board with that, by the way), I was still sucked into the angry vortex of missed bedtimes, unbrushed hair and teeth, a messy house and a burgeoning task list when I arrived home. And I have to ask, Lord, when am I gonna get it??

I take great comfort from Philippians 1:6, where Paul said, “There has never been any doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.” I also love Paul’s words in Romans 7: “For I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes! I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. It happens so regularly that it’s predictable.” Can’t you just hear his frustration and bewilderment? And by the way, this is great St. Paul who is talking!

He also says, “The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does help me. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.”

After my initial grumpiness arriving home the other night, I submitted to lying down with my daughter although it was 10 p.m., and we were both exhausted. As I cradled her in my arms and stroked her hair, I hummed along to her music CD, which was playing a guitar instrumental version of Amazing Grace, one of only two songs I ever learned to sing to them at bedtime. God spoke to me with the gentle reproof that I was incredibly fortunate to experience such a moment with my girl, who is healthy, vibrant and desires my presence. My heart broke for mothers who, on that night, did not have peace of mind about their child’s health and future or who were longing to simply hold a child who is no longer with them.

My daughter only needed 15 minutes of my time, and she was settled and ready to sleep.

It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. Indeed.

People to Love

Why does God give us people to love? How is it possible that He can be so good to us? My whole day has been filled with beloveds. It started this morning, around a kitchen table, with a bunch of cackling, hilarious women who make me laugh until I cry ... it is pointless to wear mascara around them, but I do it anyway. They encourage me in completely surprising and humbling ways. They teach me things all the time. It is so obvious to me that God put them in my life. He picked me up by the scruff of the the neck, like a mama cat picks up her kitten, and placed me right here amongst them. Why? Because He can. Because He loves to give His children good gifts.

We got to give our own child some good gifts tonight, it being her 10th birthday and all. And it's true...every smile, every cry of delight delighted her parents as well. And if we sinful people know how to give good gifts to our children, how much more will our Heavenly Father give to us if we ask Him?

Matthew 7:11

Easter

I must admit, I hate getting up early. Well, let's say I hate the first few moments of getting up early, when the alarm goes off in its rude way and the bed sings its irresistable siren song...I'm warm, I'm soft, you're sleepy, you were dreaming, don't leave... But I actually quite like it once I'm up and dressed and have shut out the calls of the night. I'm reminded of our first morning on the island of Kauai in Hawaii circa May 2003. Because our internal clocks were still back home on the East Coast, we woke naturally in the dark and took our coffee out to the beach to watch the sunrise. There was not another person on that beach and the colors of the sky and water filled us from the inside out. Worth waking up for.

Easter morning this year started for us before dawn. There was excitement in the air, anticipation of something wonderful about to happen. God was going to do something. Thoughts of the women running from the empty tomb to tell the disciples, He's not there! and the disciples racing to see for themselves, formed in my mind. What waited for us at church was a blessing, a gift. He was doing something right before our eyes and whispering His love and compassion into our ears. He was showing us that what He did for us 2000 years ago is still valid and still available to each of us. It was so worth waking up for.

http://mtbethel.org/building-passion/